When your last child finally, legally becomes an adult at the wise old age of 18, it doesn't really seem that different to the mom. Nothing changes overnight. The kid doesn't suddenly become wise, responsible and mature. Your child, the new adult, has considered him/herself and adult for sometime, even if his/her parents did not. The 18th birthday is a joyous one for the kid, because at last, his/her parents HAVE to accept that he/she is an adult - no ifs ands or buts about it. The law says so!
But not much really changes for the parent especially if said child is still living at home and partaking of all the benefits of free room and board. Does he/she magically change stripes, do all the things the adult mother expects? Start contributing to the family income? Start doing the shopping or taking out the garbage without being asked to? Not likely and never at my house.
Having five kids legally cross from childhood to adulthood on their 18th birthday, I knew better than to expect a transformation in the sixth and last. But I was quite shocked to realize that a transformation took place in me!
Motherhood is the hardest thing a woman can do, IF she wants to do it well. The effort involved is constant and like laundry, it is never truly done. I've taken it seriously for 31 years and never expected to feel any different. BUT I'm finding that my heart is changing; becoming softer, more mushy. The grandkids from eldest to youngest take up more space there. My thoughts turn to them more often perhaps because I'm not worrying about my own child's homework that wasn't turned in, or the football game he will hopefully play in this week.
I am excited for this unexpected change that is taking place in me. It is a new, liberating and untested feeling that no one warned me about.
I pray that I will have the presence of mind to find the right blending of the motherhood of my previous days with that of this new path that my heart is now on.
I'm glad you are accepting this new phase of life rather then shunning it as others do. Life is what you make it! See the glass half full. I think you're taking the right approach. I love you Mom! You will be and continue to be a great Nana. And hopefully you get to enjoy some free time, you'll experience another major change once Ben is out of the house.
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