What? It's 1 AM? Eeek

Yes, at the time of the first sentence of this post, it is 1:05 AM.   This is crazy.  I remember the days when I only saw 1:05 when the sun was shining or I was up nursing a baby a good 18 years ago!

So, is this what post-menopausal means? Wide awake in the middle of the night, joints breaking down in the middle of some healthy activity like jogging down a hill, or shoulders laying down so much scar tissue after surgery that you feel worse than before the surgery?  What's with this body anyway?

I used to count on it - to sleep.  To mend in a few days.  To be my friend.

Oh well, may as well make the best of the deal.  I don't really need that much sleep anyways. And what right minded person thinks "jogging" is a good idea when you're over 50?  (Most of the time it's not even sunny during February except for today when it had to be close to 50 and I had to wear my sunglasses and the fresh air was calling me and the road was too).  And who cares if rolling over in bed hurts the shoulder, since sleeping isn't the goal of being in bed at 1 AM, right?  Watching the Olympics is, otherwise why would that Russian skater be flipping around on the ice, doing triple dog dare toe loops in the middle of the night if I wasn't supposed to be watching him, right?

Oh yeah.  And have I mentioned that life is going better now than it has in years?  That I'm actually excited about the future?  That I stained the kitchen cupboards and they look great?  Oh, and that my husband is a wonderful provider and very generous man?  Yeah.  I guess I might have skipped right over that.

Maybe there's a reason I'm not asleep and it has nothing to do with the ache in my joints or low estrogen levels.  Maybe it has to do with life not passing me by.  Or maybe I should be slipping out of the covers and kneeling down to say a prayer of gratitude.  Or maybe, since the knee hurts, I'll do it right here in bed.

Good-night world, and Thank-you, God.  I might go to sleep, I might not.  But I'll be grateful for life and experiences whether it's 1 AM or  high noon.